My Spirituality Is Nothing More Than Trash

There is a wonderful documentary that has recently received much fanfare and aplomb. It is about a whole society that has arisen on the outskirts of a large dump. These are families whose whole subsistence is based on going through the trash that others have thrown out. Perhaps you have seen this movie.... or heard abut it from a friend.

Recycled Life

Seeing passages of this film recently lead to me pondering how my own life has come to be based in part on the reality of finding value in what others have discarded. No. I don't live on the outskirts of a massive dump. Not yet anyways. I do, though, find a lot of value in what others have discarded and want to be rid of. In fact, I could easily suggest that my own personal heaven, and the wealth I have discovered, is completely contingent upon looking at and examining what others have considered trash---i.e., of no value to them, worthless.... mere refuse to be left out to rot.

In terms of contemporary spirituality and modern psychology there is the popular habit of attempting to only cultivate what are considered "positive" or "beneficial" attributes and states of mind. Generally, this means if it feels good then keep it. If not, throw it away.

Keep the joy and the peace and throw out the anxiety and the conflict. Keep the love and throw the anger in the trash. Keep the shiny attributes of the mind and psyche and even place them on display atop the mantle in your home. Or maybe you construct an altar loaded with the gems of spirituality. Then you can show it off to others and reveal to them what a "with it" person you are.

Yet God is in the trash, too, no? I would even suggest there is more God in the trash than in our curio cabinets and safe deposit boxes. In fact, I am going to be arrogant and say that I know this is so. Just the sheer volume of what is thrown away in the name of the "good" and "positive" suggests to us that there is more of God in the refuse than upon our altars.

This is where my own spirituality has been discovered more and more. Yes, I had my own fancy with the fanciful. I did my best to only cultivate and keep that which was deemed culturally acceptable as having value and worth. I tried to keep up with the "spiritual Jones's" by only "jonesing" for what may give others the impression that I had done well for myself with my spiritual practice. So I displayed my peace as best I could and did the love-vibe until I felt like I was holding my breath all my days with the pressure of attempting to live up to an ideal that forced me to throw away so much of my own God-given experience.

The truth is that trying to appear spiritually correct left me with this full-time job of throwing away most of me in the name of presenting to others what I was led to believe was the best of me. I was creating a lot of waste. I was throwing away jealousy and envy and anger and selfishness and when I was not throwing them away I was busy going through my psyche looking for refuse to be tossed out so I could be pure and righteous before God. Or just popular and looked at as someone who knew what the fuck he was doing.  :-)

.......... to be continued.