Love Letters To The Dark

Dear Darkness,

I am sorry. How many ways can I say this to you? I am sorry. I am so sorry.

I am sorry you are misunderstood. I am sorry no one trusts you. I am sorry that for millions of years---if not since the inception of the Universe---you have been the target of all sorts of false accusations: the biggest of which being that you are the home and residence of all that is evil. A shocking accusation given the fact that such figures as Satan--who have long been the personifications and embodiments of evil in the Universe were not "of the dark," or made of "darkness," but were actually creatures of light?

Have we all forgotten that the "brightest angels" are the ones who fell with Satan, the brightest of them all?

Darkness, I am sorry. I am sorry that I believed for years that you were the residence and abode of all that is evil. I am sorry I believed the lies borne of fearful imaginations that lacked real understanding. I am sorry I grew up naive and feared a relationship with you like all those around me did---and taught me to.

I am sorry that I never took the time to know you. For now I know that real understanding cannot be based on a lack of intimacy or contact. How can people think they know you and what your nature is if they are constantly running from you, constantly defending against your presence by always turning on the light and burning up all the matter in the Universe to illuminate that dark spaces we fear hold all kinds of monstrous beings? How can we know you when we shun you so? It is as if we have never even met.

We have, though. Now I know better. Whether through fate, dumb luck, or an intense commitment to not accept what is given at face value I actually have taken the time to know you. This is why I bristle at uninformed and ignorant associations of you with the essence of all that is evil. I know better.

Now I realize that when we don't understand someone or something we fear them. I see now how you are mischaracterized and charged with offenses that you never commit. In fact, all of your beneficence and goodness---which you bless the whole Universe with---is overshadowed by our own secret fears that, rather than own and hold ourselves accountable for, we throw onto the seemingly blank and black canvas you present.

You, darkness, I fear, have been our aeons long scapegoat. You have carried our own sins. We pinned them upon you like the ancient tribes of Israel used to do with a goat, in hopes that we would be free of them. It creates a vicious circle where we never understand you and your grace, nor are we ever freed from our own fears and phantasms of the mind. It simply does not work and yet we do it again and again.

Who stops, though, to ask if we are the crazy for doing this? Who stops to consider that if something is not working and we are confronted with the same issue again and again then why do we keep doing the same thing? Why have we made you the target of all that is negative in US, dear Darkness? Have we made ourselves so small and weak that we cannot hold and carry any longer in our own hearts that which we do to each other? Why must we make you responsible for it all? Why must we make your dark womb and lightless space the creator of all that is wrong with creation?

Why, dear Darkness, have we forgotten the passage in the Book of Genesis about God creating light? Why have we---time and time again---perpetuated this madness about light being the birther of all that is good, when it is light itself that is created, not the Creator? Why have we lost awareness that the Primordial State is null and void and---as such---is closer to your own nature, dear Darkness, than that of light.

"And God said, 'Let there be light,' and there was light." ~~~~Book of Genesis 1:3

How come we do not realize that light is not our primordial nature? That light was created and is a created entity and is given to birth and death like all beings..... like Stars..... like humans.... like dreams.... .like nightmares?

How come we are blind to you Dear Darkness? How come that blindness does not lead us to our loving you--as in the statement, "Love is blind?"----but, instead, to our fearing you? How come the lies and illusions are perpetuated in the light, with the light? How come we don't even realize that you cradle us and our dreams every night? How come we have rendered your ever-present embrace the thing of demons? How come we forget that the enlightening fires of Hell that scorch souls eternally is aflame with light and illumination? How come we----for far too long---have gotten it all wrong, and continue to get it all wrong?

How come there are so few brave enough to know you? And that when they become brave enough to know you they realize that bravery is not even required to know; that if we wait long enough you are there Darkness; that you are always there; that it is the light that is fickle; that it is the light that comes and goes; that it is the light that projects all the fears on your canvas; that it is the light that lies and hides and blinds us with illusory play of mirages on the desert scorched into infertility by too much of its own blazing glory?

Darkness, I love you. I say this truly. Because I have taken the time to better know you. I have felt you with my eyes closed. I have known your embrace in deep, dreamless sleep. I now know that the explosion of light is temporary---is the stuff of fear and fantasy. That dreams come and go but you, my Dark Love, are always here.