The Hetero-Males Everyday Sado-Masochism

I would be willing to bet that the following probably applies more to hetero-males than to any other sub-species of human-being: namely, a distinctly sad0-masochistic relationship to the world-at-large. A world that punishes and is in turn punished. A world that we 'whip' into shape and a world that 'whips' us into shape.

It is this world-at-large that we need, that we rely upon, that we arise in relationship to. So it becomes a world that constantly reminds one (a hetero-male) of the distinct lack of self-sufficiency that such a man's whole sense of personhood and identity is established upon the basis of. Little wonder, then, that the world can be so hated, so despised, so brutalized and terrorized. If for no other reason than the fact that the hetero-males dominant paradigm is constantly being put under pressure of utter collapse by the world-at-large.

The world reminds such a man of what he is not: that he is not self-sufficient, that he is not completely independent and totally autonomous--not like he thinks he is, and certainly not like specific cultural norms might otherwise suggest to him, from conception onward.

So, where does that leave said 'hetero-male?' In a position where he either has to reconsider those self-conceptions he has adopted as his own? Or in a position where he has to kill, silence, dominate, control, and be overtly sadistic towards a world that is daily re-minding him of his lack (which is to say, of his relatedness)?

Many astute women (though not just women) have come to understand that the bluster of the decidedly independent man, hell-bent on being in control and dominating his environment is really a cover for nothing more than fear. In the extreme this manifests as the many 'passion-killings' that hetero-males have been known for--that is, in a way, their hallmark... their sign... their psychological footprint. Through such killings the hetero-male is attempting to live up to his notion of independence by slaying the very thing that inwardly is felt to be most necessary. In other worlds, the hetero-male is killing the one he knows he needs in order to see if he really is independent and in control. It is murder as a means of asserting one's self-sufficiency. The hetero-male has to kill in order to re-affirm his sense of autonomy. He has to repeatedly stab his Beloved in order to feel like he is 'in control' again. For if he can't divest himself of his inner lack--of his need, of his inter-dependence, of his weakness and vulnerability--then he has to kill the one whom he deludedly thinks is responsible for 'making him feel that way;' the one whom reminds him he is primarily related, and only independent in a secondary fashion and manner.