The Mutually Infectious Nature Of Love & Work

From a psychoanalytic perspective--indeliably owed to Frued no doubt--there are seen to be really only two areas of general concern. And while the manifestations of actual pathology (our human difficulties, struggles, dis-eases) can be diverse and multiflorous, those manifestations tend to arise as a result of issues within the arenas of work and love. Those twin towers remain the two principle regions wherein human-beings have their greatest defeats, not to mention victories.

It is really another way of saying that 'relationships' and 'creativity' are the essence of what it means to be human. Relate and create. Create and relate. And so, if there is a problem in one area there will tend to be a bleed through into the other area (this has been discussed in brief here before, please see here (http://syntegral.blogspot.com/2005/10/eros-of-marx.html) for more). For instance, many hetero-women may notice that they have problems in relationships with men who have yet to establish themsleves in a career--meaning, work. A vague worker who has yet to devote himself to his own peculiar passion in life sort of makes for a vague, non-committed lover. This is probably no surprise to many women out there!

On the positive side, while a man can become obsessed with his work to the detriment of his love, there is a bonus in the man who has chosen to align himself with a purpose he can call his own. Such a man tends to have the sort of 'backbone' that turns a woman on in not only a sexual way, but in a psychological and emotional way as well. This 'firmness of conviction' is not the ideological sort of some neo-con conspiracy to remake the Middle East, as much as it is the 'firmness of a man who has discovered his dharma.' That man knows what he exists for. He is easier to love and be in relationsihp because he is not constantly plaguing his lover with a steady stream of concerns about 'What am I going to do in life?' Such a man 'just does' and then comes home so he can 'just love.'

There is a steadiness that is present in the committed working-man that allows a woman to 'just melt' as her softness. Her juices can flow all that much more freely when she can surrender in an open way, precisely because she trusts that her man has discovered his own firmness. In other words, she doesn't have to try to spend her time being 'firm' for her man because her man has embodied his own firmness. She can be woman. Together they can relate. With work having been decided it is out of the way--i.e., it is no longer an open question, as much as an ongoing journey that commenced with a commitment--such that the two can open towards one another in their loving. Now both worlds flower. The dance becomes mutual. The working and the loving feed one another. Both thrive in a non-competitive cooperation of the Spirit.

How this can be fostered? Let's go there next, ok?